Stand with my pride in front of every eyes, smile as elegance as the Queen of the world, and speak in decent words towards every ears around me. It`s not because I can, but because I want. I want to make everyone happy when beside me. I`ll try my best for creating the most perfect condition in every step that I take, and its worked. I`m happy, I got my place, I got my name, and I got my friends. That was the moment,... first time I meet someone like you.
Everything was very good... until...,that day came. Things that I thought was my friends, ignored me. Things that I thought was someone that I can admire with, just disappointed me. And thigns that I thought I can trust the most..., betrayed me. And you too... someone that I thought I can hang on, just leave me away
Why doesn`t anybody think about how my feelings can get hurt?
I was very shocked.., confused with all of this, and keep asking “Why?..why??..what was my fault??”. Remembering about all of those painful moment, just breaks me more.
I`m so sick of crying...
Suddenly... I felt nothing. . . . .
“Thanks for ignoring me when I needed you the most, thank you for making me stronger and stronger with your coldness.”
Then.. I spent all the next day without any proud in my step, without any elegance on my lips, and there was no one of decent words that can be heard from my mouth. I`m just ignoring everyone beside me... pretend that I`m a blind lady when around them.., I made a rule on my self that I'll be looking for them, and when I've found them..., I'll be the one who avoids them. but its not because I hate them and want to take a revenge on them.
I`ts because of my self... I have no right to be with them..
I know, I`m deserve to be ignored by them. I`m the one who started all of this in the first place. Wearing a golden mask and hoping for a glory life. From the first time everything in my life just a big fake that I`ve made, and its better for me to return into my gray days. So there`s no reason to blame all of this on someone, and take pity on my self.
But today... you take my hand again with your warm wide smile. Someone like you that I thought was leave me away,, just.. come back and tell me, “We want you to be here..”
Hey.. I`m sorry for ignoring you, and... thank you for smile at me again...
Please forgive me..
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